It's been kind of a rough day for reasons that I don't really want to talk about. It's one of those things that I'm just going to need to pray about and have faith with. I feel that I've always struggled with my faith, with completely trusting in the Lord, but I'm really going to have to try with this and just trust in the Lord that even though I don't know how and it may hurt things will work out for what is best in the end.
Change is a funny thing that I've been thinking a lot about lately. I don't always like the person that I am. I don't always like that I get grumpy and irritable over things that are really no big deal. I wish I could be more patient and mellow. I don't like that sometimes I can be really discriminatory and judgmental I wish that I were more loving and kind, I want to learn to see everyone in the way that the Savior sees them. I wish that I weren't so serious minded all the time. I wish that I weren't so critical and proud. There is in my mind's eye the kind of person that I want to be and then the kind of person that I am. I want so badly to change myself and become the person that I want to be, the person that I know that I can be. The weird thing about change though, is that it is a really hard thing to effect, especially as it sometimes seems, in ourselves. But the even weirder thing about change is that is absolutely and completely 100% a choice that we make. It's a choice that I make to be grumpy and let things bother me. It's a choice to discriminate and judge others, it's a choice to take everything serious. It's a choice to be critical and proud. Yes, some of these choices we make we're so accustomed to making them that we don't even realize that we're making them anymore, some might say that they become habit. But there is always a way to break a habit, you can always change, you can always make different choices. The trick is doing it because they certainly can be difficult at times. So here's to becoming a better me. The me that I want to be, the me that I know I can be, the me that I know the Lord wants me to be!