So, I know I already posted today...or I guess it would be yesterday but given the time it feels like it's still the same day.
It's funny the way that life/the Lord can put you in your place sometimes. At work there is one unit that I really am not a huge fan of. Mainly because of one patient who I have just found to be rude and uncooperative.
But tonight as I was sitting at work she came up and said hello to me. A few minutes after that I witnessed her changing her clothes and putting on her make-up. And then after that she asked me to help her decide which shoes she wanted to wear and if I would help her put them on.
I realized tonight that as frustrating as this patient might be sometimes, she is still a person. She has the same needs and wants as me. She still wants to look her best, she still wants to talk to people, etc. And yes, some days she might be a little bit ornery, and rude, and impatient, and difficult to work with/help. But aren't we all? Especially if we have been put into a situation like the one at my work. Where basically all of her independence and freedom has basically been taken from her. Where once she was use to going where she wanted when she wanted and doing things herself, independently, she has to look to the staff for every little thing, even something as simple as opening up her closet? I can't say that I would handle that sort of situation any better.
It just gave me a bit of insight tonight, and while I'm sure that I will still find myself getting frustrated at times and dreading working with her, hopefully I'll find it in my hear to be a bit more understanding as well. She's still one of God's children, all the patients are, and they require a little extra help. So it is up to me and the rest of my coworkers to provide them with the help they need and do our best to love them the way that the Lord would.

This morning when I got off work I showered and went to sleep out on the couch thinking that I might hear my roommates when they got up and started getting ready for church. I had hoped it would help get me up earlier and get me to church on time....it didn't. Today was fast Sunday because we have stake conference next week. Which, since the Provo Tabernacle (where we traditionally held stake conference) burned down in December we have to find a way to cram ourselves into one of the buildings on campus! Our stake conference isn't until later in the day on Sunday. I think like 1-3 or possibly even 3-5...I'm not sure which. It's lame but what can you do?
When I got back from church at 2 I noticed that I had missed a phone call from someone and that I had a voice-mail. When I checked it it was someone from my work saying that they knew it was my day off but asking if I could work a shift tonight anyway. This was news to me since I'm traditionally schedules to work Sunday nights. I called back and apparently someone had made a scheduling error. Woops.
Speaking of work I think I might try to get into what they call the HV Pool. It's basically the same thing that I do now but I cover extra shifts instead...the bonus is that I get to make my own schedule which is nice because I wouldn't have to go to work at 10pm every Friday night right when people are in the middle of activities.
After that I tinkered around a bit longer before finally laying down to take a nap. It didn't really happen though. Pretty soon my roommates home teachers stopped by and then a million people came to the door...
Dave showed up not long after that though and told me that dinner was going to be ready in like 5minutes anyway so it turned out kind of provident that I didn't actually get the chance to fall asleep. T did dinner today for dinner group. He had gone out yesterday afternoon and bought a couple of pizzas from Papa Murphy's. Needless to say we were all very happy people. After dinner I finally laid down to take my nap and Dave joined me.
I had been asleep about an hour when I heard a knock at the door. My natural tendency was to just ignore it as I was in the middle of some intense z's but I decided to answer it anyway. Good thing too, it turned out to be Allen and Jim asking to see if they could use my apartment to give a girl in lour ward a blessing. I guess her apartment and theirs were both busy? In any case I was happy to oblige. I nudged Dave and we maintained consciousness long enough for them to give her the blessing and then I fell back asleep and I'm pretty sure Dave did as well.
We woke up about an hour later. We went over to Dave's to see what everyone was up to, which was really not that much. We ended up catching a bit of the Oscars because Lacey wanted to see them. Eventually though Dave said that the awards were kind of bugging him because he didn't really care and he changed it to Pearl Harbor instead.Good movie.
Other than that it's kind of just been an off day. I'm sure I'll get over it but for right now I'm a little concerned.

Today was pretty boring....
I woke up around noon ate lunch and then hit the gym. I don't usually do the gym on Saturdays but I missed going Wednesday because of work, so I needed to catch up and pretty much everyone was gone anyway.
I came back from the gym ready to get in the shower and get the filth off me only to find much to my chagrin that my roommate had stolen all the hot water. I was pretty frustrated especially seeing as how I had just asked not even a month ago if we could refrain from having one person expend all the hot water on themselves. I had to wait an hour wallowing in my nastiness before the water heated back up and even then it was only warm for like 5min before it turned cold again.
After I hopped out of the shower and got dressed I ran over to the mall still in search of a tie for Dave. I finally found one that would match well enough and purchased it. He said he really liked it, or at least I hope he did. A bunch of us ordered pizza and so we chowed down and chilled out for a little while. Dave and I took a nap on the couch. Sleeping next to the kid is a lot like how sleeping next to Ben used to be. He's just this solid mass right there next to you, it's almost like sleeping next to a really big dense pillow that gives off heat. It does lead to a pretty good nap though.
Later in the evening a bunch of us went to go play Wal-Mart Tag. Dave and I think still have some communication issues I think. Just in that like today when we were trying to decide if we wanted to join the others for Wal-Mart Tag I told him that I really didn't care one way or the other so he needed to make a decision...if he wanted to go then we could go. The problem is that he says he can be happy doing whatever and so he wants to do what I want to do. He says that he doesn't always want me to do stuff just because he wants to if I really don't want to do them and that it's more fun if we're doing something that we both enjoy.. But a lot of times I'm pretty content to stick to my hermit-ish ways and bum around the house. I know that he likes going out and being active and doing stuff so I go with him. I insist that we go out and do stuff that I know he wants to do because it is important for me to put him above myself but then he says he feels bad because we're constantly going out and doing stuff that he wants to do that I don't really want to do, but I would feel bad if we were to stay. So it's kind of like a stalemate sometimes.  Tonight I finally told Dave how I felt, that yeah, a lot of times I don't want to go out and do stuff, but that it's important for me to do stuff for him because I know that he likes it, and a lot of times I usually end up happy that I did something despite the fact that I didn't want to in the beginning. I also reminded him that I'm pretty good at expressing when I genuinely don't want to do something, which he didn't try and argue with. :) I promised him that that wouldn't change. That being said I hope the situation has resolved itself. I still just think it's sweet that that kid is more concerned about me than he is about himself.
After Tag at Wal-Mart Dave and I dropped by the BYU Creamery and picked up some milk and Oreos then we went back to the apartments and watched an edited version of Terminator 2 before I had to go to work.
One of the things that I really appreciate about Dave is that it doesn't matter what is going on or what he is involved in, when it is time for me to go to work he stops what he is doing for a few minutes and walks me out to my car to say goodbye. It's really sweet of him and I don't think he really knows how much it means to me.  I've tried to tell him but I really just can't find the right words. In any case, that boy really does wonders for me and I feel really blessed that I've gotten to know him, not even necessarily date him but just know him as a person....I just wish I could find the words to tell him.

In some ways I feel like a lot has happened this last week and in others I feel like much hasn't happened at all.
I guess a lot has happened, it's just been a lot of the same old same old.
Tuesday night I didn't have to go into work because I had some reinforcement training taking place Wednesday morning at 8am so they canceled my Tuesday night shift. It was rather nice to be able to spend an extra night at home this week. Dave and I found ourselves watching While You Were Sleeping and then hitting up Baskin n' Robbins afterwards for some Sundaes. While we were there the attendant started talking to her co-worker about some problem she was having with her chemistry homework. Dave asked for some clarification about her problem and then completely answered her question. I'm dating a smart fella' I guess. All our friends found it rather funny when they heard the story because that's just how Dave is. No matter where he goes it seems he finds some way to help someone with their homework.
Wednesday my reinforcement training let out early so I ended up getting done 2.5hrs early. I used that time to go home and watch Sleepless in Seattle and work on knitting Dave's hat. I was doing pretty well on it but hit a snag towards the end of last week and lost a couple of stitches. I ended up starting over completely while I watched the movie. After the movie was over my roommate Jaime expressed interest in watching An Affair to Remember a movie that they talk about quite frequently in Sleepless. It just so turns out that I bought the movie back in December so we threw that one in right after Sleepless finished. After Dave got back that night we made plans to go see the 9:40pm showing of Tron at the dollar theater. Dave said that he needed to do some homework beforehand though so I set myself to making cookies. Needless to say we both got distracted and missed Tron and ended up just popping in The Italian Job instead.
Thursday, was the usual. I had the day off so I puttered around, worked on my knitting more, watched Fools Rush In, and then went and did P90X Yoga with Jim and Dave. Afterwards, Dave came over to my place to hang out for a bit. He worked on some homework while I deep cleaned my kitchen which desperately needed it. Then we ended up making a late night run to Taco Bell/Wendy's with Lacey and Lisa. After that we went back to my place and Dave ate his food while I snacked on grapes and made myself some peas. He helped Lisa revise a Spanish paper, and then he and I gave each other back massages. Can I just say I've never thought massages were anything special, but for some reason they have felt super good lately. I think I've maybe been torking my back at the gym more than I realize.
Today, after Dave got back from campus we went out sledding and to dinner at a place called SmashBurger with some friends. I was just in one of those quiet moods, which I feel bad about because I know that Dave has less fun when I am because he feels like he has to cheer me up. It's not that I'm even in a bad mood really, it's just that I'm a little more quiet, but Dave I feel like then hangs back with me and doesn't have as much fun as he could or would like. He tried to bring me out of it a couple times, but sometimes I'm just in a mood and it's kind of difficult to extract myself from that even though I really did try for him. After dinner I took him up to Draper so that he could spend the night with his cousin/best friend who is getting married a week from tomorrow. Dave is pretty sad about it. He says that he is happy for his cousin but sad for himself. haha He's a funny kid.  I spent the rest of my night before work looking for a tie.
Dave has this light celery green shirt that he really likes and that he looks really good in. The only problem is that he doesn't have a tie to go with it. He says that his old roommate had a tie that was a darker green that he use to borrow that went really well with it. Dave has a internship interview with Raytheon down in Tucson this next week and I know he's a little nervous so I was wanting to get him a tie to match the shirt but will still look good with a white shirt just as a kind of good luck/knock 'em dead present. However, I'm having a dickens of a time finding one that seems to be the right shade of green. I got in touch with his old roommate tonight though and he's going to bring the tie that Dave use to borrow by tomorrow so I can take a look at it and get a feel for what color/shade of green I'm looking for. Hopefully I'll have some luck tomorrow finding one that will go well with this dadgum shirt of his.

Today was a pretty awesome day, Sunday's usually are though I have to admit.
I got back from work and slept for an hour or two before waking up and rushing off to church so that I could make it in time to teach my RS lesson. I went a little over, but there was a fair amount of participation and the EQ lesson went even longer than ours so I was pretty ok with it in the end. I'm really trying to stop being so critical of myself when I teach a lesson. The rest of church was good. We went to Jaime's preach my gospel class to support her and Lisa played a musical number in Sacrament. She did her own rendition of All Creatures of Our God and King. It was really good I only dream that I might learn to play an instrument that well. I know what you're all thinking "You can. If you just work at it and practice hard enough." which is true. But you have to admit that some people just have a natural musical ability/ talent that I don't. But I really am going to start trying to learn.
After church Dave received a text message from his old roommate and our mutual friend Cody asking if we wanted to play games or something I don't know what Dave texted him back but Dave came over and we had some lunch and then we laid down on my living room floor and took a nap. I don't usually nap during the day but I was so tired and I really needed it. It was glorious. :) Two hours later we awoke to a knock at the door. It was T wanting to know if we wanted to play some board games. We agreed and went over to Dave's because Allen had likewise agreed. Dave at this point texted Cody and asked if he would like to join us for games.
However, right as we got to Dave's Allen informed T that there were some new updates for a computer game that they play but that they were only lasting for the next hour or so (or something of that nature). T promptly postponed all game playing. With the delay Dave and I decided to bake some cookies so that we could give some to our friend Dallin.
I don't know if I wrote about this or not, but on Valentine's Day I got a text from Dallin saying that he had tickets to go see True Grit at 7:20pm but that he couldn't make it and he wanted to know whether or not Dave and I wanted them. The reason he was giving the tickets away was because he works at a silver refinery and apparently had some blowback from one of the furnaces and ended up with some hot plastic burning his face around his eyes and nose. He got a blessing and went to the hospital. We saw him today and the scabs from the burns are already healing over nicely (just another testament to the power of the priesthood, modern medicine, and a lot of faith I suppose.) Also, Dallin found out earlier this week about the troubles that Dave was having with the gas leak in TJ. He has gone above and beyond to help Dave figure out what the problem has been exactly, he even called one of his cousin's to get his advice and called in a favor so that Dave can take TJ in and have the leak looked at if need be. We thought all that was pretty cookie worthy.
After cookies and dinner Cody showed up and we were finally ready to start playing the much anticipated games. Lacey somehow roped a T and a few other people into play Settler's of  Catan even though she knows I hate that game. However,  Dave and Cody were kind enough to play another game called Dominion with me.
It was a really fun night and it was really good to see Cody. He and Dave are really good friends, they really enjoyed living with each other and I know that they both would like to be roommates again one day.
Cody and I were talking today and he asked me "Where are you living in the fall? Because wherever you live is probably where Dave will live. So you should let me know so that I can move there and Dave and I can be roommates again!" haha I'm really glad that they have such a good friendship. It makes me happy.

I don't know that much has gone on today to write about.
I woke up at noon and got dressed and worked on Dave's hat some more while he was out working on TJ. I went and hung out with his roommates for a little bit too.
Bad news for Dave. The o-rings he got didn't fix his gas leak. He's pretty sure that that means there is something wrong with his fuel injectors and that means it's going to be a lot more expensive.
After Dave finished up with TJ we went out to dinner at Mimi's Cafe. It's this super good restaurant in Provo, if you're ever in the area I hope you try it. After dinner we had had plans to go swing dancing but Dave said that he was feeling a little too tired/full so we bagged on the dancing and just went back to my apt and played Clue with Lacey and her boyfriend Ryan and basically just sat and talked for a little while. After dinner had settled sufficiently Dave and I went to the grocery store and bought some ice cream sandwiches. When we got back John had arrived with his new puppy to spend some time with Lisa. It was the cutest dog. I'm not usually one of those people that falls to pieces over an animal but this dog was cute. Then we basically just hung out for a little bit before I had to go to work. I have to teach the lesson in RS tomorrow morning, it's on work and personal responsibility. It seems kind of an appropriate topic seeing as how I will have just gotten off work. I finished my lesson tonight at work and was contemplating just staying up until church started so that I didn't risk waking up late and not making it in time to teach when Dave said that he would call me at 10am (an hour before church starts) to make sure that I am awake and won't be late. He really is too good to me.

Today, was actually quite a relaxing one.
I woke up and dinked around for a little bit. Around noon Dave came over and we had some lunch and then I dropped him off at school. Apparently he thinks that his car "TJ" (stands for The Jeep) has a gas leak and so he doesn't want to drive it a lot until it gets fixed. However, seeing as how TJ is about as old as Dave and I are and Dave does most of the repairs himself it could take a while.
After that I went to the gym, which, happy day (!) I'm finally starting to see some improvement! :) When I got back from that Lacey called me and asked if she could get something out of my car. I think I wrote about how she totaled her car last Saturday and asked me if I could take her to get her stuff out of it Monday afternoon. Well, her stuff has been sitting in my car since then. She asked if she could grab something out of my car that she had borrowed from her brother and if I could give her a ride down to Springville to return it to him. I did that and when I got home promptly jumped into the shower. I had just gotten out of the shower when I got a call from Dave asking me if I wouldn't mind picking him up from campus. So I left with sopping wet hair and no make-up to get him.
I picked Dave up from campus and on the way back he asked if we could stop by his work. He said that if he was going to be working on TJ this weekend he kind of wanted to grab his grubby work jeans. He also asked if we could stop by the Jeep dealership so that he could purchase some o-rings that he hopes will help fix the gas leak. We then went home and I finished getting dressed before heading back out to Michael's to grab some yarn.
For Valentine's Day my roommate Lisa made her boyfriend John a hat. When we all went out to Chipotle that night for dinner Dave was looking at John's hat and said "That's a cool hat." and I said "Yeah, that's a cool hat. Lisa did a good job with it." and Dave was like "Yeah, I like it." At this point, thinking that maybe he was hinting at something I asked "Do you want me to make you a hat Dave?" to which he said "I don't know...I don't wear a hats." and I asked "You mean like never?" and he said "Well, I had a beenie once. But, I don't know, I don't have a hat...so I don't wear them." Anyway, I'm thinking that this might have been Dave asking for one without really knowing how to ask and I have a lot of time on my hands at work so I've decided that I'm going to knit Dave a hat. That's what the yarn is for.
After I got back from getting yarn Dave and I went out with T, Jim, and our other friend Bryan and got some Sushi. I know most of you don't like it...or think you don't like it based on some pre-conceived notion about fish....especially raw fish. But it's soooo good. Give it a try, especially the tempura stuff and I think you might be surprised.
After that we went back to my apt and watched an episode of "I Love Lucy" before I had to go to work and Dave wen to go play Sardines in the Library with a bunch of people. I converted Dave to Lucy and I bought the entire series on DVD back in January so we've slowly but surely been making our way through the episodes. And that's life for this Provo kid.

Update: I really dislike how late in the afternoon I arise as a result of not getting to sleep until 7am!
This morning I didn't wake up until a little after 1pm! Blegh! :(
Anyway...it was a typical day. Gym...and that's pretty much all I had time to do with my "day". I also got the opportunity to talk to my mom and Flora on the phone a bit which was encouraging.
Dave got back from school a little before 7. At 7:30 we had dinner and then watched The Shawshank Redemption (edited on amc, people.) It was a really good movie but very hard to take. It definitely tugs on your heartstrings, and there were definitely a couple of scenes where I had to hide behind Dave, and that was even with it edited. I would hate to see the full theatrical version.
And now, because it is my night off....I'm going to bed.

Today, was rather unproductive.
I didn't wake up until nearly 1pm!!! I got off work this morning at 7am and went back to my apt and went straight to bed. I set my alarm for 11am and intended to wake up and get stuff done but when 11 rolled around I looked at my phone and thought "eh...I don't have anything super pressing to be up for." and promptly went back to sleep. I rolled over at Noon and thought the exact same thing. At 1 I finally mustered the courage to stumble out of bed.
I rant to the gym really, quick. Then I came back cleaned the kitchen and got dressed for the day. Keep in mind though that I didn't wake up until 1 so this really wasn't occurring until sometime in the late afternoon. That really was what my day consisted of.
For dinner tonight we all went out to Chili's for dinner to celebrate Jaime's birthday. Man, they have good food! I told Dave tonight that it's always weird for me to go to Chili's because we didn't have places like that in El Centro growing up. Eating out consisted of Jack in the Box, Del Taco, McD's, Burger King, Wendy's (which we never ate), KFC (which we also never ate), Taco Bell (which we never ate), the Hamburger Stand, and Jalisco's. Only one of those (Jalisco's) even approaches a Chili's type setting. I told Dave that growing up I thought Chili's was a some fancy restaurant because we never had it in El Centro...needless to say he laughed at me.
After that we went and gave Jaime her birthday gift and it was time for me to jet to work which is where I am currently. With some pretty heavy concerns weighing on my mind. I really am trying to put all my faith in the Lord and trust that whatever happens is for the best. I just wish that I didn't falter so much in that faith.

Today, actually turned out to be quite a bit busier than I planned.
I woke up today around noon having slept about 4.5hrs after what felt like a very long night at work.Upon my stumbling out of bed I had a text message from my friend Lacey asking me if I could take her to her car at 1:15pm (she got into a car accident Saturday morning and needed to be driven to the towing facility to get some stuff out of the trunk.) I replied that I most definitely could. I had a few other errands that I needed to run before doing that which included going to the post office to mail some stuff to mom and dad and then hitting up Best Buy for a b-day present for Jaime, my roommate, because today was her 24th birthday. I promptly ran to get those done before picking up Lacey.
On my way back from Best Buy (they didn't have what I was looking for) I got a text message from Lacey changing the time to 2:20. When I got the text message I was stopped at a light at the intersection right next to my gym. Needing to go and get my workout done for the day, I decided to just go to the gym for a bit until it was time to take Lacey to her car. Well, I was right in the middle of my workout when I get a phone call from Lacey asking if she could come pick her up to go get her stuff from the car, at this time it was about 1:28. I promptly left the gym and went to go get Lacey. When she got in the car we both realized we had a bit of a miscommunication and that she had texted me 2:20 but meant 1:20 instead. We got to the towing lot and no one was there to let us in to see her car so we turned around and I dropped Lacey off at her apt and then went back to my place to change into some more appropriate gym attire. I headed back to the gym but right as I was pulling into the parking lot I got another call from Lacey saying that she had learned from the towing guy and that he would be at the yard within the next 15 min to let her at her car. I turned right around went to pick up Lacey and then headed right back to the towing yard to get her stuff. After that we stopped by the store so that Lacey could pick up some last Reese's minis and so that I could pick up some stuff to make a birthday cake for Jaime. After that I dropped Lacey off again and headed straight for the gym.
After my workout I headed back to the store to pick up some stuff that I had forgotten on my first go around. While there I also on a whim bought a rose for one of my old roommates from last year, Keri, who lives on the floor beneath mine. I then went back to my apartment and got some stuff together to drop off with my old roommates Jenny and Rachel. I chatted with Rachel for a bit and then ran off back to my apartment to shower and get ready for this evening.
I showered and got Jaime's cake going in the oven and was in the process of doing my make-up when Dave appeared carrying a bouquet of roses and a wood carving of my name that he has apparently been working on all semester. He painted it black and then had some daisies painted on it because he knows that they're my favorite. When I asked him if he was the one responsible for the flowers he said "No, that was DeVeer (his boss at the paint shop). That man just really likes painting Daisies." haha After that he went off to eat some food and I finished my makeup and then my roommates and Dave and I headed up to the nearest Chipotle in Sandy where they were having a buy one burrito get one burrito free deal in honor of Valentine's Day. After that we all went over to Paradise Bakery and Cafe for some cookies. Usually I jump at the chance to get some cookies from paradise but today I was feeling a little indifferent one way or the other and when I told Dave this he about fell over. We got there right as they were closing down and so the guy behind the counter was trying to get rid of the last of the days cookies so he didn't have to take them home so he was basically giving them to us for free. It was pretty great. :)
After that Dave and I left to head back to Provo so that I could get back for work. My roommate Katherine was riding with us and I forget what we were talking about but somehow Katherine dared Dave to kiss me at the next stop light and Dave definitely did it. It was pretty funny. We got back and I went and gave Keri her rose and talked with her for a minute or two and then went and spent the rest of my time before work with Dave.
All in all I would say it was definitely a fabulous V-day. And to make it even better I found out that Desi and Mike had little Ruby this afternoon. Perfect end to a V-day although I kind of wish that I could have spent a little more time with Dave instead of having to come to work.:)

Today was a pretty good day. I had more success at getting to church this week than I did last. I woke up at 10:45am aiming to get to Relief Society on time if I did my hair and makeup super quick. That didn't happen, but at least I made it to Sunday School and I actually got to take the sacrament today! Yahoo!
In Sunday School we talked about following Christ and his prophets and apostles. We talked about how the early and modern day apostles give up everything to follow the Lord and proclaim his gospel. It really made me think about whether or not I do that. Whether or not I'm willing to give up everything and follow Christ. It's like yesterday I was reading "Beware of Pride" by President Benson and he says that the most important question a man can ask himself is not "what does man think of me?" but "what does God think of me?" I have resolved that this will be my new motto and that I will do my best to give all that I have in devotion to the Lord.
After church Dave came over for lunch and then we went over to help a girl across the hall move out (apparently she is moving home due to some health problems.) After that we had dinner and just hung out for the rest of the evening. It turned out to be a pretty relaxing day which I needed since yesterday was most assuredly not.

It's been kind of a rough day for reasons that I don't really want to talk about. It's one of those things that I'm just going to need to pray about and have faith with. I feel that I've always struggled with my faith, with completely trusting in the Lord, but I'm really going to have to try with this and just trust in the Lord that even though I don't know how and it may hurt things will work out for what is best in the end.
Change is a funny thing that I've been thinking a lot about lately. I don't always like the person that I am. I don't always like that I get grumpy and irritable over things that are really no big deal. I wish I could be more patient and mellow. I don't like that sometimes I can be really discriminatory and judgmental I wish that I were more loving and kind, I want to learn to see everyone in the way that the Savior sees them. I wish that I weren't so serious minded all the time. I wish that I weren't so critical and proud. There is in my mind's eye the kind of person that I want to be and then the kind of person that I am. I want so badly to change myself and become the person that I want to be, the person that I know that I can be. The weird thing about change though, is that it is a really hard thing to effect, especially as it sometimes seems, in ourselves. But the even weirder thing about change is that is absolutely and completely 100% a choice that we make. It's a choice that I make to be grumpy and let things bother me. It's a choice to discriminate and judge others, it's a choice to take everything serious. It's a choice to be critical and proud. Yes, some of these choices we make we're so accustomed to making them that we don't even realize that we're making them anymore, some might say that they become habit. But there is always a way to break a habit, you can always change, you can always make different choices. The trick is doing it because they certainly can be difficult at times. So here's to becoming a better me. The me that I want to be, the me that I know I can be, the me that I know the Lord wants me to be!

Last night I made some oatmeal butterscotch cookies. Because of my yoga excursion I didn't get to baking them all so I still had some dough left over in the fridge. This morning as I was lying in bed, my eyes opened and I thought I want some cookie dough. So, I promptly got out of bed and went ate cookie dough for breakfast. haha So much for trying to eat healthy. Woops...

I then sat down and watched some I Love Lucy until Dave got back from school. He then took me over to the towing company to pick up my car. I walked in and the guy was like "Do you know how much the charge will be?" and I was like "Well the sign said $145" and he said "Yeah, that's the towing fee. There's also a $30 state charge to make sure that the car wasn't stolen and a $25 dollar storage charge. It's going to come to $200 even...if you pay with cash...but if you pay with a card we have a 5% processing fee so it'll be $210" Really, I ask you, who just carries around $200 in cash! First, they jack my car and then they charge me out the wazoo to get it back. But what can you do? So, 10 minutes and $210 later I was driving Winkle back to my apartment complex.

After that I made Dave and I lunch and then just hung out before he had to go back to class. He called and scheduled a flight to go down to Tucson in the first part of March and interview for a summer internship with Raytheon Aerospace. He's also applying to Ball and I think a few other places but Raytheon looks really promising since his dad works there and if I remember correctly Dave's dad's boss asked him if Dave was going to submit a resume. 

After Dave left for school I hit up the gym and worked out with some Wiifit. And then just chilled for a bit. Around 5:30pm Dave, my roommate Jaime, and I went over to the BYU Bookstore to buy a BYU tie for Daddy to use in some gag he's got going with one of the guys he's in the YM presidency with. Then we went back to my apt and ate dinner and then Dave, our friends Mike and T, and I went over to this bakery in south Provo called the Sweet Tooth Fairy. It was featured on the food channel so we all wanted to try it. The boys were all pretty pleased with their cupcakes. I thought that their cookies and other baked goods left somewhat to be desired. We then went over to this store called FYE and looked around for a bit and then eventually back to Dave's to play this game called Dominion.

This is where I have to admit that I was bit of a jerk. We were playing this game and Dave was taking forever on his turn...repeatedly. It was really starting to get on my nerves but I'm afraid that I was a little too vocal and I ended up hurting his feelings. Dave, who never gets mad and angry finally shot back "I wasn't doing it on purpose just to annoy you!" and then I felt like crap. He's so sweet and he never gets mad or angry at me when I'm sure that there are a thousand things that he has cause to and yet I'm a brat and make him feel terrible and get upset at him for doing something so small and something that he wasn't even meaning to do, he was just playing his game. I took him out to the hall and apologized and I told him how sorry I was and he says that all is forgiven and I know that it is because that's just the kind of person he is but I still feel terrible for the way that I acted. I definitely have some repenting to do. :(

Yesterday afternoon I wasn't feeling so well, and I woke up early this morning and still wasn't feeling too well so I took a few IBUProfen and went back to bed. I woke up a little later feeling better so I hit the gym. I also left a message for Ann, my supervisor at the CJC, this morning and asked her if she still needed me to come in to help out with the groups tonight and she said that I didn't have to come in at all anymore, she said that if it were her she would try and find something else to do but that if I'm bored I can come in whenever I'd like.
The rest of the afternoon was pretty lazy. Dave and I along with our friends T and Jim do P-90X yoga every Thursday night. The living rooms in our apartments aren't big enough for all for of us so we have to resort to using our apartments complex's common building or "lodge". The only problem is that tonight when we went to go do it there was some big group meeting in our building. So, we decided to head over to one of the clubhouses of a neighboring apartment complex. Well, it turned out not to be such a great idea. We went to this apartment complex called Carriage Cove and their clubhouse was open so we went in to do some yoga. We just didn't see the sign posted out in the parking lot that said that they would start towing cars without a permit after 9pm. You guessed it, my car got towed. And to be honest I'm really miffed about it! I mean honestly! 9pm is a little early to start towing cars, and what if you're over there visiting a friend?! And it irritates me that they went straight to towing my car instead of just booting it. Now I have to pay $145 dollar because some stupid apartment complex decided to be utterly unrealistic! Anyway, Dave did a pretty good job of calming me down, as he usually does and he's going to go take me to pick up my car tomorrow morning.

Today, was my day off and hence a really lazy one. I'm getting adjusted to the schedule during the work week but still find myself pooped when my days off finally rolled around. :{ That being said I don't think that I will be picking up any extra shifts around the hospital until that has dissipated a little bit.
It really was just the same old same old around here. Woke up, cleaned a little bit and then hit the gym.
A few months ago my friend Tyrell (we call him T for short) suggested that we make some home made jam. Dave and I both thought it sounded like a great idea, the only problem has been that its the dead of winter and there aren't really that many fruits that are ripe this time of year that you would really want to turn into jam. Well, I noticed that Strawberries have been around in abundance, and on sale too, what with V-day approaching and all so Monday I told T and suggested that we make jam sometime this week. Well, this afternoon I bought all the necessary ingredients and tonight we proceeded to turn strawberries into jam. The recipe on the back of the pectin box said that about 2lbs of strawberries would make one batch of jam and I bought 4lbs of strawberries so we were just expecting two batches of strawberry jam (about 10 cups) we were way surprised when we squeezed out four batches of jam (about 20 cups) and still had enough strawberries to make milkshakes/pour over our ice-cream. It was kind of ridiculous.
We ended the evening with some board games. All in all it was pretty great relaxing day away from work And now, I'm off to bed (before 7am!).

Update on my Grad School Application Drama: Yesterday after I talked to the grad studies office I called the application coordinator at the social office and left her a voicemail explaining the situation and asked her to call me back or email me. This morning I woke up and headed right over to the CJC. I had Ann fill out the cover sheet evaluation for my letter of recommendation and print out the letter again and then I put it into an envelope and personally walked it over to the grad school office at BYU myself. I was really ticked. After that I hit the gym and did a couple other things. When I checked my email later in the day I had gotten a response from the woman at the social work office that I had called yesterday. She said that already had already had all three of my recommendations, that she had received Ann's via fax a few weeks ago, and that she had forwarded my application on to the admissions board for review. Needless to say I was even more irritated with the grad studies office. I mean really, Ann faxed that letter of recommendation around the 18th of January! And yet somehow they have no record of having received the fax or forwarding it onto the social work office like they apparently did. And on top of that, it took them at least a week to update my application status online and even at that when I look at it my application status just says that Ann started the recommendation but hasn't completed it and officially submitted it yet. Needless to say I'm not too impressed with the grad school office and I think that they will be getting a piece of my mind via a comment card or something!
Other than that, I didn't do much today. It was my roommate Katherine's birthday and we celebrated with her. We all went out to Olive Garden and then came back and had lemon cake that I made per Katherine's request.
Funny Story: Katherine is really quite shy but has this strange obsession with guys with 6-packs. Dave has a pretty good one. Once before Dave and I started dating Katherine saw a picture of Dave shirtless when we went swimming one day and she came rushing over to me exclaiming "You should date him! Have you seen his stomach?!" haha Anyway, for Katherine's birthday our other roommate Lisa and our friend Lacey decided that they wanted to set it up so that 22 men would come and give Katherine roses randomly throughout the day (it's her 22nd birthday). They asked Dave to be one of the guys to give her a rose and when he did he decided to be funny and have his shirt off. So he knocks on our door and Katherine opened it and there is Dave standing shirtless with a rose. I thought Katherine was about to die. Her excitement only deepened when two of the other guys who gave her roses and also knew about her 6-pack obsession showed up with their roses and no shirts! haha

Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays Dave has a two hour break in his work/school schedule from 11am-1pm. That being said, it has become my habit Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday nights to ask him if he'll have lunch with me the next day. It's a thing we do. Sometimes if he has a lot of homework that he's behind in or something he says that he'd like to but that he'd better stay on campus and finish it, which is no biggie. The majority of the time though he obliges. Well last night (Sunday) when I asked him if he wanted to do lunch the next day he said he didn't know because he thought he had some homework to do. I told him that was fine and if he decided he could make it for lunch to call me when he was on his way home. This morning/afternoon around noon I woke up to a text message from Dave telling me that he had come home for lunch but forgotten that he had a presentation to give in one of his afternoon classes and needed to stay at his apt and work on it. I hopped out of bed, pulled some sandwich stuffs out of my fridge and meandered down the hall towards Dave's apt where I proceeded to make us lunch while he worked on his presentation. And for all my effort I got Dave teasing me about my bad morning breath. haha :p
After lunch I dropped Dave off back at campus and headed to the gym. It was a really short workout in the exercise plan that I follow which I was both grateful for and disgruntled about.
Last month I applied for the Master's of Social Work program at BYU. Everything went in around that time except for the letter of recommendation from my supervisor, Ann, at the Children's Justice Center.  She tried submitting it electronically like BYU asked her to and they never marked the letter as submitted, but they also never told us why. We never heard anything from BYU about whether or not the letter was submitted, no confirmation, nothing. But they also never mentioned that the submission had failed, so if Ann and I hadn't constantly been checking we would have never known that the submission didn't go through. Ann tried numerous times to submit the recommendation electronically but they weren't taking it and so she finally got fed up and called BYU and asked what the deal was. They told her that when they would try and open the file that it was corrupted on their end and asked her to send it via fax. Ann told me that this occurred about 3 weeks ago. Roughly around the 18th of January. Well I got an e-mail from the Grad. Studies office last Friday night saying that a change had been made to my application. When I looked it just said that Ann had simply started my letter of recommendation and that it hadn't been submitted. And even at that they're showing that it wasn't started until the 25th of January which is about a week after Ann talked to me and told me that she faxed the letter to BYU. Well, it was so convenient that they e-mailed me Friday night when the offices were going to be closed for the weekend and I couldn't call to talk to anyone. So I finally called someone at the Grad Studies Office at BYU about the situation today after I got back from the gym. They said that they're not showing record of having ever received a fax from Ann! :{ I could think of some very choice words for these people right now. I mean, really?! I understand that faxes sometimes don't go through but it seems that the very least the person that Ann spoke to the day she called in could have done would be to wait on the phone with Ann to make sure that the fax went through, or at least checked to make sure that it did and then let someone know. Or, the Grad Studies Office could have let me know sooner that I was still missing a recommendation! I mean my application was due on the 15th of January, here we are nearly a month later and they're just barely telling me that they're still missing a submission. Overall I'm not very impressed with the Grad Studies Office. And what bugs me the most is that their inconsiderateness may cost me a spot in the MSW program. Because really if you think about it, they have started reviewing other applications but they won't have considered mine yet because it's still considered incomplete technically without the letter of recommendation even though everything else was in on time and it's out of my hands now. I just feel like Ann and I both have jumped through hoops and done everything we could to get the letter submitted and have received very little if any help from the Grad Studies Office. I wonder if the people that work in that office realize that they're not just processing application materials but that they're possibly dinking around with someone's future as they have mine for the past few weeks because they can't even send out a courtesy phone call/e-mail to me or to Ann telling us that her numerous attempts to submit the recommendation have all failed! And now, it may delay my entrance into Grad School for another year! I'm really perturbed and have half a mind to call up the office and start ripping someone a new one about this, but I know that I shouldn't because it won't accomplish anything all it will serve to do is get me more worked up and angry about the situation.
I'm working on my anger issues that I have. I know that I have a long way to go but I'm working on it.
After that I showered and hit the store to pick up some stuff for dinner. I'm in a dinner group in my ward, basically a group of 11 of us have gotten together and we each take turns cooking meals one night every two weeks for everyone else. It's a good way to save money, eat real food (besides ramen and mac n' cheese j/k), and get some variety in my diet. Tonight was my day to cook so we had Roasted Red Pepper and Tomato Soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. I had to cook it over at Allen and Dave's apt because a) their kitchen was actually semi-clean and b) they had some of the necessary equipment that I lacked. So after I got back from the store I went straight over there and started cooking. I was in the middle of roasting red pepper when Allen announced that he was going to get ready to go do some Parkour training. It's something that Allen, Dave, and their roommate gym all do for fun/exercise. Anyway, Allen mentioned that Dave had just texted him and that he was going to be on his way home soon and that they were going to go "train" when he did. I found this news a little odd since I dropped Dave off at school after lunch and hadn't heard a thing from him. Needless to say this revelation from Allen was immediately followed by a phone call from Dave asking me to come get him from campus. haha
The evening was pretty uneventful, I missed FHE because I was still cooking dinner at the time. After dinner was done I cleaned up Allen's and Dave's kitchen and then we all just hung out until I had to go to work. And again, that's where I am right now.

So, I feel really bad writing this, kind of like it's a cop-out, but my work schedule is making it ridiculously hard to get to church on time. My church starts at 11am and getting off work at 7am and then going home and only getting like 2.5hrs of sleep is a little ridiculous. Today my roommate Lisa came into my room and was like "Felly, it's 10:50" at which point I rolled over and told her "Ok, thanks. I'll get up later. I'm not going to Relief Society." And then I rolled over and went back to sleep. I didn't wake up again until 12:05 when Dave texted me and asked me if I had any intention of coming to church. haha I told him I did and asked him to save me a seat in Sacrament. I promptly bolted out of bed and frantically began getting ready for church. Even at that I still  missed the passing of the Sacrament. :{ I think what I may have to start doing is just staying up after I get back from work and then zonking out for a couple of hours after I get home. On the bright side, I did get caught up on all my tithing today! :)
After church I changed my clothes, grabbed some food and some necessary baking supplies and headed over to Dave's. I made No Bake Chocolate Oat Bars. They turned out alright, but I don't know that I'd make them again. The butter separated from the oats despite the fact that I cooked them and they tasted a lot like No Bake Cookies, which I think I prefer just a little bit more. It was a test out though.
Dave, Allen, and pretty much everyone else went off to Break the Fast at that point. They had soup and bread bowls. Let me tell you, give a bunch of college age males very short notice and no real ingredients and ask them to concoct soup and you'll get some very interesting mixtures. It was quite an entertaining spectacle to behold. It kind of reminded me of that scene from Singles Ward where the guys makes Lasagna with feta cheese because that's what he has. haha
After everyone returned from retrieving their soup we all sat down and talked for a little while before the Super Bowl started. I was completely opinionated for some reason and wanted the Packers to win. Weird since I really have no history with the Packers whatsoever, I think it was basically because they were the underdogs. Anyway, it proved to be an exciting game with the Packers intercepting a pass from the Steelers and scoring a touchdown and then making 2 more touchdowns from turnovers (if I 'member correctly.) That was basically what we did with our afternoon here in Provizzle. About half way through the game Dave and I made some 7 Layer Bean Dip which proved to be a delicious snack to tied us over for the rest of the game. The Black-Eyed Peas did the half time show and let me tell you, while there wasn't any indecent exposure like there has been in Super Bowls of the past, the Peas really don't sound that great performing live. We all wondered how so many people in the stadium were cheering for them and decided that they must have done a studio recording which they played over the loudspeaker at the stadium in Arlington, TX where the game was played. The game ended with the Packers winning, which most people were quite ecstatic about.
After the game I took the liberty to clean up Dave's kitchen a bit since I'd made a mess of it throughout the day. Dave came over to help me and when I told him that he could go sit down and relax and enjoy himself he told me that he enjoyed spending time with me, even if it was just cleaning the kitchen, and that that was what he wanted to do. A little piece of my fell in love with him all over again when he said that.
When the kitchen was all straightened Dave and I joined in for a couple of games of Rook with our friend's Lacey and Ryan. We played guys vs. girls and Dave and Ryan slaughtered Lacey and I which Dave was pretty excited about.
 Sometime around the first of the year Dave and I started reading scriptures together nightly. I know that the Brethren have counseled young couples against it, and I don't even know how it happened but somehow we started. Well ever since I started my job at the hospital Dave and I have been kind of slacking in our paired
scripture study. The other night when I was at work I got a text from Dave telling me that we should pick it up again. So tonight after Rook we sat down and read some scriptures together (only half of 1NE 13 because I had to leave for work.)
After that it was pretty much time for me to head to work which is where I find myself now in between hourly checks and intermittently texting Dave.
So, today I mentioned in passing that I don't really think I'm that nice of a person. I say this occasionally and it always seems to bother Dave. It's not that I think I'm a terrible person, but I don't think I'm as nice as I always could be. I find myself getting easily irritated or doing things begrudgingly when I don't really want to. Well I said that today and Dave finally said he'd had enough and told me that I needed to stop saying that because if I kept saying that then I wasn't going to become a good person but rather, I really would become a mean person. He said that your subconscious will more easily believe things that you say out loud than it will things that you simply think so that I needed to start telling myself that I am a nice person. He told me that he thinks I'm a wonderful person and that it makes him sad when I discount myself. What a great guy right?  I honestly wonder everyday what I did to deserve that boy. But for now I have decided that even if I don't necessarily think I'm the greatest person, the least I can do is start telling myself that I am, if for no other reason than for Dave. And who knows, maybe Dave is right and my telling myself that will eventually help me become the person that I want to be. As long as I don't get too prideful. But then one of my new years resolutions is to be less prideful and judgmental so hopefully I'll be aware if I start doing it. Who knows? Until tomorrow.

So, I've decided that since I have a lot of free time on my hands at work most nights why not update this thing more regularly. Even if I am just sending these out into the void.

This morning I meant to get up early and go to the gym (I have a monthly membership at 24Hour) but that didn't really happen. I didn't wake up until about 11:20am and Dave was coming by a little after 1pm to pick me up to go to the University Nevada Las Vegas (UNLV) vs. BYU basketball game. Normally I would have gone but I probably wouldn't have gotten there until closer to noon and I never take less than an hour at the gym no matter how hard I try. That means that I probably wouldn't have gotten back until around 1pm and wouldn't have been able to be ready in time for Dave to pick me up.
 Dave picked me up a little later than expected and we headed over to the game. It was packed! Apparently it was pretty highly anticipated game for some reason. My roommate Anna told me that there had been people camping out in line for that game since Wednesday, that's a die hard fan right there. The game was pretty spectacular! Jimmer Fredette the guard for BYU has garnered a pretty good reputation. At today's game he broke the record for most points scored by a single player in the entire Mountain West Conference! He's pretty much guaranteed to make it to the NBA.
Dave and I had a double date this evening with his old roommate and our mutual friend Cody. Unfortunately we had leave the game a little early. Dave was a little bummed because it was his first time at a BYU basketball game and it was proving to be a pretty good one. Anyway, we went and saw a play that Cody had picked out for the date, get this Babe. I know what you're thinking...pig movie? And yes, you would be correct. We got there and it actually turned out to be more a production for little kids, with the actors pulling them in as extras and such. It really was more a play for young families and such but we all enjoyed ourselves anyway. Afterwards, we went to this place called Nicolitalia Pizzeria! Best Pizza Ever! It was so delicious. Dave and Cody decided to try this drink called the "Mitt Romney" it was equal parts Sprite, Root Beer, Gatorade, and Apple Beer. Nasty if you ask me but they both loved it. 
After dinner we went our separate ways. Dave and I headed to the grocery store so that I could pick up some much needed milk, eggs, and butter. I actually ran into an old friend of mine from my ward last year. It was good to catch up with him. Dave and I then headed back home. We hung out with his roommates for a little while and discussed the phenomena that is male back hair. Finally, after being sufficiently grossed out, Dave and I went back to the store to pick up some stuff for dinner tomorrow. We are going to be making 7-Layer Dip and watch the Superbowl!
So last week I went to the gym and my right shin was sort of hurting a little but it went away so I didn't think much of it, but the Pain came back tonight. I asked Dave about it and he thought it could be shin splints. Whatever it is I hope it goes away quick because I dislike them whole heartedly, and it really hurts to walk up stairs. There were a few times that Dave noticed me limping from it and just scooped me up and carried me the rest of the way. He really is too good to me!




 

Okay, I know I'm ridiculously bad at updating this thing! What can I say? Life just kind of gets away from me.

Starting where I left off.
I had an awesome summer here in P-town. I made a lot of new friends and it seemed like there was always something going on. Whether it was going fishing in the Provo River, to trips to the local hot springs, to the rope swing out in the Mona Pond, to just getting a game of Ultimate Frisbee together, or having a cap gun war on a Friday night, or going to see a movie, or watching fireworks or whatever. It got to the point where half the guys called me the social epicenter of the ward. I know what you're thinking. Really? Felicia? But I swear to you it's true, and I still question how it happened. Anyway, the point is that I had a great summer and really feel like taking the time off from school was the right thing for me at the time. Even if I never really found a job and struggled a bit financially.
Starting in the fall I began a job working at BYU Independent Study (IS). Also, my roommates Jenny and Rachel moved out which I was really sad to see. They are both really neat girls and they have helped to make me a better person.
Also starting in the fall I sort of began spending a significant amount of time with a friend of mine from the Summer. His name is Dave Weston and he is in the Mechanical Engineering program at BYU. Well, it is Provo, so give it a month and we were dating. I had my doubts at first, but I think it was mostly me just over thinking things as per usual. Now, I'm sure that he is really good for me and to me and that I am lucky to have him. He's really mellow and patient where I'm high strung and irritable. He likes to goof around and play games and find never ending ways to torment me while I tend to be a bit more serious minded. But somehow we made it work. We still are...have been since October.
During the fall semester I took a class on Adult Development and Aging, and it made me kind of realize that I think I want to work with the elderly. Dave laughs at me because he says that most girls see a baby and start falling to pieces about how cute it is...I get that way with old people. At the end of the Fall I graduated with Bachelor's from BYU. Yeppers, I'm a college grad. Weird huh?
In November with my impending graduation I began applying for jobs that would promote some of the concepts I learned in school and aid me along my way to getting my Master's of Social Work (MSW) (yeah, I finally picked). I applied for a position at the Utah State Hospital for the mentally ill working with the patients, helping to implement treatment plans and conducting groups activities as well as assisting them with ADLs (Activities of Daily Living). Well, I missed the initial interview setup and the supervisor let me know that she would contact me if they had any openings. I got a call from her one day while I was at work at IS and so didn't pick up, she left a voicemail saying that they had a canceled interview that day and to call back if I wanted it. I very nearly didn't because I thought that the chances of my getting it were slim. However, I thought better of it, decided it was worth the shot and gave her a call back to set up the interview. Even after the interview I was still pretty skeptical but I received a call back during finals weeks for the Fall Semester notifying me that I was being offered a position. I now work the graveyard shift (11pm-7am) at the hospital. I really feel like the Lord's hand was in it somehow. In any case I just feel blessed to have been able to find a job so soon after graduation, especially in Provo, especially in this economy.
You may be wondering, why I chose to stay in Provo upon my graduation from BYU. And those of you who think it was purely for Dave would be wrong. He did have something to do with it, but the real reason was Grad School. I want to get into the MSW program at BYU, and that being said I decided why bother with moving and then moving back if I am accepted into the program? That being said I finished applying to the MSW program at BYU in the early part of January and now it's just a wait and see game as to whether or not I will get in. Dave was great in helping me to get my application ready. He spent hours proof-reading my essays and making sure everything was polished and then of course Mom did the final review. I was going to apply to other schools but in the end decided against it. I just have a good feeling about BYU, and I don't know that I would be able to afford any of the other schools anyway. But I'll have to see. BYU is still giving me the run around about one of my letters of recommendation having been submitted so I'm going to have to call Monday and make sure that I light a fire under someone's rear-end!
Anyway, I'm trying to think, but I really think that's the end of what's going on for me here in the Utah neighborhood. Love you all!