Okay...so I realize that my "30 Days of Blogging" that I instituted in an effort to get me to post more regulary was an Epic Fail!!!! But what can you do? Life and time just got away from me and while I could just continue on with the blogging schedule assigned in the 30 days and pretend like it hasn't been an obscene amount of time since my last post, we're just going to be realistic here and continue on with a normal boring old post. Perhaps someday I will finish up with the 30 days of blogging schedule and you will get the scoop on all those little tidbits of information about myself that I know you're so excited to hear about that you can't even contain yourself, but that day I'm sorry to inform you is not today.

Instead, you shall be getting this update! I totally, absotively, posolutely, 100% completely.....LOVE my life! :D You see...I think it started with George. For those of you who don't know, my last semester in my undergrad (wow, that's weird to say!) I took this class on Adult Development and Aging. One of the requirements for the class was what my professor termed a "service learning experience" where basically he wanted us to volunteer at an assisted living facility or nursing home, y'know spend time with the patient/residents, and then write a paper applying some of the concepts that we talked about in class to  what we actually saw in the facility that we volunteered at. I picked Courtyard at Jamestown which is an assisted living community in north Provo, I had two prior roommates who worked there and they always talked about how awesome it was so I thought it would be as good as any to volunteer at. During my time volunteering there I met some wonderful people including George. He is an 80 something year old man who lives alone with his little dog Charlie at Courtyard and would visit with me about some of his life experiences. Well, I finished up the my last semester at BYU and the class ended and I stopped volunteering at Courtyard, I intended to keep volunteering but at the start of the winter semester my life just got crazy busy with my job at the hospital and a couple of other projects I was trying to tackle. Fast forward two or three months, in March Grandpa got put into the hospital for some bladder problems he was having. Thankfully I lived close enough that I was able to go visit him while he was sick, but it got me thinking, if I hadn't lived close enough to go visit grandpa when he was sick or lonely and he didn't have any other family around, I would hope and want for someone to visit him. That being said I resumed my volunteering at Courtyard and George once again came into contact with my life. I started visiting him weekly again and we became pretty good chums. Well, Easter Sunday rolled around and I was feeling pretty down in the dumps because of some stuff that I was trying to work through/make sense of but that day when I went to go visit George we ended up talking about the Savior and he ended up sharing with me an experience that he had when he was serving a mission with his wife in which he had a dream where he saw the Savior and got to sit and walk and talk with him. It was really special and when I got up to leave that day George gave me a big hug and told me how much he appreciated and loved me (he does that every time I visit him now...which is just so adorable that I can't even stand it!) It was so amazing! Anyway, George has changed my life, he really has helped me to realize a lot about my relationship with the Lord. It just makes my day when I get to go see him. I think the love that I have for George is the most Christ-like love I have ever experienced and it has bled into all other aspects of my life. As you all know I'm pretty good at making snap-judgments but lately I've been trying really hard not to do that and just assume I know people's motives. I've been praying that I will be able to love other the way that the Lord does and that I will see in them the wonderful qualities that the Lord does. I've really just been trying to help others and be as supportive as I can of the decisions that they make despite my opinion on the matter. Anyway, life since then has just been getting progressively happier and happier. The funny thing is that I didn't even notice it really, I mean I still have my ups and downs but then there was this one day two or three weeks ago where my perspective completely shifted.
It was about a month ago on a Sunday and I was visiting George as per usual when he mentioned that he had a doctor's appointment that week that he didn't have a way to get to. I quickly offered to give him a ride. It was that Thursday and I was pretty tired that day because I'd worked a double shift at work the day before (16 hrs straight!) : O I got up and went running and then I went and got dressed and had lunch with Jim and then I went and took George to the doctor. While George was in with the doctor I took the liberty to call Nena and just chat with her on how life was. Then when George was done I dropped him off and promised I'd be back on Sunday for a visit. Immediately after that I went and saw Ariel and we went "running" which when her and I get together it's really a lot more like power walking. haha Following that I went and met Jonathan for Ice Cream at Baskin Robbin's (Which, by the way, is my new obsession! For anyone who hasn't, you definitely need to try the rock and pop swirl and the gold rush flavors!). On my way back from Jonathan's I stopped off at the store where I just so happened to run into Drew who was cooking for our dinner group that night. I helped him collect the ingredients for pigs in a blanket and then we went back to his apartment and I assisted him in making dinner. Following dinner my friends and I moved an extra table into Lacey's apartment and we proceeded to have a saloon themed poker night. Everyone dressed up in their best plaid/western attire and we got some Henry Weinhard's Root Beer (Yum!) and other snacks and proceeded to play Texas Hold 'Em from 8:30 -11:30pm when one person was finally the last man standing. It was so much fun! Anyway, it occurred to me on that extremely hectic day as I knelt down to say my prayers before bed that night that my life may not be what I imagined it would be at this point and it may not be exactly what I want it to be in all aspects, but it is still really fulfilling! More so than I would have ever believed it could be at the outset of this summer! I really do have so much to be thankful for! :) I have a great family who loves and cares about me, who have taught me the truths of the gospel, who have taught me how to care for others, who tease me and allow me to tease them back. I have amazing friends who have stuck by through thick and thin these past two or three years, who put up with my temper and other foibles,  who make me laugh and bring a smile to my face and hopefully allow me to do the same to theirs, and who have given me the awesome opportunity to be a part of their lives. I have been blessed to attend a fine university where I received my Bachelor's degree and where I will be continuing on for my Master's. I have an awesome job that I love so much; I get to go help people every day, make a difference in life, and occasionally get paid to do thing like play with Legos, color, play poker, and take visit's to the botanical gardens up in Salt Lake! I get and incredible amount of job satisfaction from my work. Seriously, back in April I was on the elliptical at the gym one day when Beat It by Michael Jackson came on and it made me think of this one day when I still in New Employee Orientation (NEO) when the unit I was observing on started playing that for the patients and the patients just got up and started dancing, I couldn't help but think at that moment that I hope when my friends who are still working on their degrees get out into the workforce that they are blessed to find jobs that they love as much as I love mine.
But as awesome as all of that stuff is and as blessed as I am...the biggest blessing that I have in my life this Gospel. It's the knowledge that if gives me that my Heavenly Father knows who I and loves me, that I am his daughter and that some day, because the Savior was willing to pay the price for my mistakes, I can be forgiven and live with my Heavenly Father again in the Celestial kingdom. I think those truths more than anything can account for my extreme happiness over these last few months. I know that they can bring happiness to anyone if you'll just let the Holy Ghost into your heart and let it sink.
Anyway, now that I feel that my ramble is sufficiently long I will depart and simply say love to you all! :D Until I get enough time to write again, which sad to say may be awhile.

Day 14- A Picture of Myself and My Family

And there you have it...
This is the most recent family photo, however it is missing two editions...soon to be four haha.
In other news....life in Provo remains pretty much the same! haha
Last night for whatever reason I couldn't sleep. Normally this would have been a mere inconvenience that I would have compensated for by sleeping into the late morning. However, this morning I had to be to work at 7am which means that I had to be out of bed by 6am. So I woke up and went to work, worked from 7am-3pm went home and went to the gym, came back played some James Bond on the Wii, went outside and played some Volleyball with some friends for a good 1.5-2hrs, showered, went to FHE, and then went to the magical land of WinCo with Tyrell, Jim, and Drew to do some much needed grocery shopping. T, Drew, and myself all had pretty lengthy grocery lists so it took us some time. We finished up and headed back to the Hood around 9:45 so that I could take Ryan to work and so that I could make it back for my graveyard shift tonight (which is where I am now.) I don't get off work until 7am and I'm taking my friend Ashley to the airport at 9:30am and then I have a build with Habitat for Humanity from 1-5pm. Adding all this up means that Felicia is going to be one very tired kid tomorrow. haha

Day 13- My 5 Favorite Books and Why.

Um....okay, so I really don't know what has happened to me. When I was younger I used to love reading. I use to read all the time, whenever and wherever I could. I hate to admit this....but even sometimes in church. Anyway, that being said this post is going to be really difficult. I feel that I have read a substantial amount of books and there are even more on my list that I want to read. But, we'll see how this goes.
First of all I would like to say that...

 

The Scriptures

I know that this picture is of The Book of Mormon but The Bible is included in that as well. The scriptures are my rock. Those and prayer are the things that I turn to when I need to get through a hard time. There are so many insights into my life that I gain from the scriptures. They make me want to improve and bet a better person, the kind of person I know that Christ and Heavenly Father want me to be.

However, I have a feeling that this post is meant to be about more secular books so here it goes....

1.

 

 Pride and Prejudice

The first time I read Pride and Prejudice I was 16 and from then on it has definitely been my fav! As cliche as it sounds I think a large part of it stems from the fact that I can identify with the character of Elizabeth Bennett. Not necessarily on the whole getting married thing but just on how she interacts with people. I mean you see right off from the beginning she judges Mr. Darcy and he does the same to her. But then after they get to know each other they realize that the other isn't as bad as they initially thought. That has definitely been my experience in life. I am very quick to make snap judgments about people sometimes but then after I get to know someone my opinions change and I realize that the person isn't as bad as I thought and that it can develop into a relationship that is extremely enjoyable.

2.

To Kill a Mockingbird

To Kill a Mockingbird is a classic book and one that I enjoyed immensely. I think part of it is because of the character of Atticus Finch. I love that in this book he defends the case of the poor black family against the hillbilly white family...which at the time that the book was set would have been totally unacceptable. I love that he's a character with character, that is willing to stand up for what is right and serve someone and help those that really need it. I know I'm going to get a lot of flak for sounding like some "bleeding heart liberal" but in my opinion it is up to each and every one of us to help those that we can when we can...no matter what. We need to help each other out for the betterment of society. Harper Lee put that message into this book and it's messages like that that have led me to want to become a  Social Worker.

3.

The Work and the Glory

Okay, So I know that this isn't exactly one book....more like nine. But I think I can get away with it. I bucked reading these books a lot when I was younger, probably because Mom tried to force feed them to us when I was like six or seven, but I gave them a shot when I was 14 or 15 and was presently surprised by what I found. I loved these books and all that it taught me about the early days of the church. From it I get a greater sense of what those early saints went through for their faith and a greater appreciation that they did so that I can have the gospel in my life today. And the fact that it was written in terms of a fictional family that you grow to know and love as you read the books doesn't hurt either. : )

4.

Harry Potter

Ok, really, I ask you, what kind of twenty-something would I be if I didn't list Harry Potter as one of my favorite books. I read The Sorcerer's Stone when I was 11 and ever since I read that first installment I have greatly enjoyed the series. At 11 there was something cool and fun and lighthearted about believing that maybe there was another world out there where magic actually existed. I knew it really didn't but Harry Potter helped me to use my imagination to it's full extent, it allowed me to dream. And it did and will for many people. Harry Potter is something that changed children's literature. It has become iconic...especially for my generation because we were that age group that Rowling was writing for. Just Sunday I was sitting in Sunday School and we were talking about Jews vs. Samaritans and what the difference was and some kid pipes up and says "To the Jews the Samaritans were like...mudbloods." and everyone started to laugh at the reference and we all immediately knew what he was talking about. Or today I was sunbathing with Lacey and the wind kept kicking up and we decided that we needed a deluminator...except for wind. Or amongst my group of friends we'll sometimes starts "duels" using spells from the books. Or last year when Ariel and Lacey were feeling too lazy to get something for themselves they would say "Accio (fill in the blank)" and the other would get up and get it for them and when Jenny tried to do it and no one got anything for her we teased her about being a "squib" and she would get so angry. And it will endure for generations to come. Years from now when my children read those books I will be able to look at them and say "I remember when those books came out. I remember waiting for the next installment, the midnight parties for the books and premieres for the movies... I remember that." And...that was a rant. haha

5.

Jesus the Christ

I read this book about a year ago. And it is so good! I loved getting to read about the life of the Savior! It was so enlightening to get a bit of historical background on what was going on at the time of Christ's birth, ministry, and crucifixion! It helped me to gain a greater appreciation for our Savior and what he went through to perform the atonement in our behalf.

Day 12- Write a Poem to Someone You Love

Seriously? I'm really not the poetic type.

You lift me when I fall
And you really don't mind at all.
You cheer me up when I'm down
You create a smile from a frown.
You make me laugh when I don't want to breathe
You calm me down when I want to seethe.
You make me want to reach for more
That is why it's you I adore.
I love you more than I ever thought possible
And for you I'll always be thankful.

So there you go. I gave it my best effort. This really isn't written to one person specifically but I guess this is more about the qualities I the people that I love (which there are a lot of) possess. In thinking about it this poem could be given to any one of my family members or friends. I have been blessed by the Lord to have some pretty awesome people in my life. People who make me want to be a better person and are really there for me when I need them. And every day when I kneel down to pray I thank the Lord that He has brought them into my life.

Day 11- A Bucket List of Things You Want to Do Before You Die

Thankfully, I've had a bucket list since I was 16! So that makes this one really easy! If you're really all that interested you can access said list on my facebook! Ha! Done and done.
Now, on to other things that have been going on in the life of Felicia...which as you will be presently surprised is...not a whole lot.
Thursday was the last day of finals for BYU and also my commencement! AHHHH!!! To think after nearly 5 years it finally came! My graduation from college! It was pretty cool. We got to have Elder Richard G. Scott address us. He spoke a lot to us about the force for good that we can be in the world...especially with the educations that we received and how we shouldn't give up even when times are tough. It was really cool to hear. Then Friday was my actual convocation...where my specific college met and they called our name and we got walk across the stage and receive our degrees. Pretty cool beans if you ask me. At my convocation my old Forming Marital Relationships professor Dr. Busby spoke to us about not being "too expert" in the home....especially since our degrees are in family science. He mentioned that a lot of times our families don't want someone to talk down to them in an expert voice but that they just want someone who will get down and fight in the trenches with them. A good reminder I think. After my convocation Mom and Dad insisted on snapping some pics so look for some of those to come. And that was pretty much it for my awesome weekend! I think Friday night Jim taught me how to play Chess. I was pretty excited about that since I've been wanting to learn to play for a while. Oh, and Saturday I went shopping with Jessica after work and I ended up buying myself a miniature wooden crossbow! It's pretty tight. And that night my lovely roommates and friends took me out to Texas Roadhouse for dinner to celebrate my graduation! All in all a pretty great weekend if I do say so myself.
Saturday was move out day at the 'Hood and so now the number of people out and about is shockingly small. That should change this week with the start of Spring classes at BYU but the number still won't be too big even with that. Which, I don't mind too much since I do better in smaller groups of people where I can actually get to know people. Hopefully, this summer will turn out as perfectly as last summer did but we shall see. Hanging out with the peeps tonight was pretty fun though.
Speaking of peeps though.... I told this story to Mom and Dad while they were here for graduation and I know that they'd be utterly disappointed if this wasn't documented in some measure. So, about a month ago Jim and T and I were sitting around on a Friday night contemplating activities when Jim mentioned that he'd always wondered if you could stick Peeps to like a wall or something if you heated up the bottom. We contemplated the idea for a little bit, decided it was worth a try, and then promptly went and collected our friends and went and bought PVC pipe so that we could make marshmallow blow darts guns instead. Well two weeks ago my friend Dan "Chaps" and I decided that Peeps were a go. So that Thursday night Chaps and T and I went to the store and bought a bunch of boxes of Peeps at the amazingly low price of $1/box. We went back to the Hood and grabbed some friends including Ryan, Lacey, Lisa, and Colin and proceeded to not exactly heat the bottom of the Peeps up and stick them to things....but light them on fire. They burned a'ight on there own, but then we soaked them in finger nail polish remover and they lit up even better. Then T decided we should see what they would do if we soaked them in gas. Seemed like a good idea. So we bought some gas and proceeded to soak some Peeps in it. Everything was going great until the gas ate through the plastic cup T had used for the soaking and we ended up with gas all over the back lot where the burning was taking place. Well, at that point of course the only option we had was to light the thing on fire...so T did. Wow did it go up...and it singed the hairs off T's arm. haha I think Lisa did take some pictures so I'll have to see if I can rip them off her facebook and post them here for reference however, at this point I neither have the time or the motivation as I am at work. So yeah, there's an update on my adventures! :D And that's about all this kid wrote.

Day 10- Songs you listen to you when you're happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad

Mmmmkay....
So I know it's been a while since my last post. And that was kind of the whole point of the "30 Days of Blogging" thing...to get me to do it more regularly, but what can I say? April has just been an extremely crazy month and it has gone by so friggin fast it's ridic-uh-lus. There will be a short follow up post containing a bit of an explanation. And...if I don't get around to that then I guess you'll live.Now back to the business of this 30 Days of Blogging thing. You know what this post is supposed to contain from the title and let me tell you what, this is going to be really hard for me because as I already stated in my first post I have an extremely eclectic taste in music.
For starters, I will tell you that I do believe Starlight by Muse might be my favorite song of all time.

As for this category business....

When I'm happy it might be something akin to...

Perfect Day by Lady Antebellum

Because it reminds me of last summer and days spent chilling with my peeps wasting time by the Provo River.

or it might be...

Extraordinary by Mandy Moore

Because it's kind of empowering and makes me feel confident....like I can do anything!

or it could be...

The First Single by The Format

Because it reminds me of good times working at Blockbuster and that sometimes you just need to get over yourself.

When I'm sad I might listen to...
Hurt- by Johnny Cash

Because sometimes I just need to be sad and wallow.

Just a Dream by Nelly

Because I can really relate to the confusion that he talks about and wondering what's going to happen. Not necessarily with relationships but just with life in general.

The Scientist by Coldplay

Because Coldplay is awesome...and it's a blend of the previous two.

When I'm bored...
These Are My People by Rodney Atkins

Because he sounds totally happy with the life he has been given. 

Do You Believe in Magic? by The Loving Spoonful

Because sometime you just can't beat oldies.

3 am by Matchbox 20

Because it makes me think of my childhood.

When I'm hyped....

Better Life by Keith Urban

Because it reminds me that you live the life you want to lead. Again not just about relationships but just life.

Club Can't Handle Me Right Now- Flo Ridda

Because it has a great beat and the lyrics aren't totally morally repugnant.

That Green Gentleman by Panic! At the Disco

Because things change...and that's okay.

When I'm mad...
Johnny Cash by Jason Aldean

Because sometimes I get fed up.

Hot N Cold by Katy Perry

Because sometimes relationships suck!
(side note: when I looked this up I totally found another video of a spoof she did on this song with Elmo for Sesame Street! haha)

Let It Happen by Jimmy Eat World

Because sometimes people refuse to take responsibility for themselves.

And there you have it!
P.S. this actually took me a substantial amount of time...at least 1.5hrs.

Day 9- Something you're proud of in the last few days.

My Job!

Okay, so I must admit that this was kind of a hard thing to think about just because I couldn't really think of anything momentous happening in the last week or so....just life.

But then thinking about it, I really am proud of the work that I do currently and proud of the work that I will be doing in the future as a Social Worker.

I'm proud of that fact that right now and when I eventually graduate with my MSW that I will be devoting my life to helping people who can't necessarily help themselves! There is something satisfying about knowing that you've had the power to affect a change for good in someone's life. That you've made things a little easier for them...done the work that the Lord would do. It definitely increases my capacity to love and become tolerant of others every day!

Day 8- List of Short Term Goals for this Month and Why

Ok! So I know I'm extremely behind but what can I say? Thing got a little crazy this last weekend with Conference and other plans.
Friday I hit this place called Sammy's for dinner with Lisa and our friend Casey. It was kind of an adventure because first we were just going to go to this soup and salad place, Zupas. But then while were in line there I remembered this amazing sandwich shop called Hickory Kist that I went to about a month or so ago so we drove over there only to find out that they close at 6pm....seriously. On a Friday night? In a college town? I don't know how they expect to turn a profit. Anyway, so we were still in search of food when we walked around the corner and there was Sammy's looking pleasant and rather non-busy which is quite impressive since it is always busy. See, Sammy's is known in the Provo area for having amazing shakes....they put a whole piece of pie in each one. So yes, that was tasty, and then after that we went back to the G-hood (my apt complex is called Glenwood but in P-town it is more commonly referred to as GlenHood) and met up with the usual group of peeps for night games (capture the flag, utlimate frisbee, etc. at the park). After night games were finished we went back and watched O Brother, Where Art Thou? which if you watch by yourself is kind of dumb, but if you watch it with a bunch of people is actually quite hilarious.
Saturday I woke up and watched the first session of conference, then Allen came over and we went to the store and bought stuff to make Nachos and we did that as a big group for lunch. We also watched the travel channel and saw this giant rubber band thing.  Basically, they attach you to a giant sling shot, then use a trailer to tow you backwards and then release and you bounce back and forth. It looked so cool! And, best part? This giant rubber band is conveniently located just a few miles north inside the Provo canyon. Guess who has a new idea for a summer activity?! After lunch we dispersed to watch the second session of conference then the girls and I went shopping while the guys went to Priesthood. Afterwards they all came back to my place and we had a little muffin party! Dee-lish! Then, a bunch of us went out to grab some substantial food, which was pretty fun but things seemed to be hitting a downward spiral as I headed off to work at 10pm.
Sunday morning I didn't even bother with going to sleep after work because I knew that I would wake up in time for conference if I had. Lisa had a bunch of people over for breakfast Sunday morning and then we tuned in for conference. Might I add though that at this point I had been awake for 24hrs straight and I'm a little ashamed to admit that I was struggling not to nod off during the first session. In between session Ashley and I headed over to Courtyard at Jamestown, an assisted living villa in south Provo. I have been volunteering there since last semester, but took a little break these past few months and am beginning to start going again. Ashley needs the volunteer hours for one of her classes. It was quite an enjoyable visit, as it usually is. I love the elderly! I love hearing all of their stories and their perspectives on things! : )
After Courtyard we headed back and caught the last session of conference. Then I took Ashley home and Lisa and I cleaned up a little bit after the morning's breakfast festivities. I finally worked in a little bit of a nap and then Lisa and I went for a drive up the canyon, to the Y and the temple. It was good to just talk to her and know that there is someone out there who feels the same way I do sometimes and knows what I'm going through. After that we headed back to the apts and hung out with Allen for a bit before I had to go to work. All in all it was a pretty great weekend! I loved all the conference talks on Service, especially President Eyring's and Elder Ballard's. I also really enjoyed the talk by Elders Oaks and Christofferson! So great! Like Christmas in April.
Anyway, now that I've updated back to this business of the 30 day Blog post.

Long term life goals!

'nough said.

But seriously some goals for this month:

Start to save money/put myself on a budget.

Be more consistent at my scripture reading.

Love everyone.

Help as many as I can.

Be a good friend. 

Make it through graduation.

Love my family as much as I can.

Let people know I really do appreciate them and am thankful that the Lord brought them into my life.

Day 7- A picture of someone/something that has had the biggest impact on me

Jesus!

Let me tell you what....there are some pretty creepy looking pictures of the Big Guy floating around out there on the internet. That isn't meant sacrilegiously at all, but some other religions have some pretty tripped out conceptions of what he looks like... that's not meant as a slam, it's just that in my life I have become accustomed to this one and I love it dearly.

Anyway, so yes, He and His gospel have had the biggest impact on my life. First and foremost they have taught me the right way to live. They've taught me to be honest. To care about other people, in most instances even more than I care about myself. They've taught me to follow the promptings of the spirit, to trust in righteous priesthood holders, and that I can still hear the voice of the Lord today, both personally and through those who have stewardship over me. But most importantly it has taught me that I can be saved and live with Heavenly Father and my family in the Celestial Kingdom forever all because Christ was willing to give His life and atone for my sins....all of ours. I've often thought how poetic it is that Christ even suffered for those people who were putting Him to death, like Caiaphas. I mean how selfless and awesome can one person be. In the case of Christ...pretty darn. Perfect in fact.

However, I think the biggest impact He has had on me has come in the last year or so...a lot of it even in the last month. When I broke up with Dave at the beginning of the month I was freaked. For those of you who saw me after Matt you know that I was a mess for quite a long while. But the thing was that I dated Dave a lot longer and loved him a lot more than I love Matt, more than I ever dreamed possible. So, naturally I was expecting the fall out to be a lot worse. Now....in the case of Dave I have fared a lot better than I did after Matt. Part of that is because of  Dave being who is. He really did love me and he loves the Lord and I know he was doing what he really thought the Lord wanted him to, and he treated me a lot better than Matt ever did. Not that Matt treated me bad per se, he just didn't handle the situation in the greatest way possible. Part of it also was that I had been praying to the Lord for some time before it happened that He would give me the faith, strength, and courage to handle whatever happened with our relationship...whether that was Dave and I splitting or having it progress to something further. But, I was still afraid when it happened that I would tailspin the way that I did after Matt. But, y'know Christ really has been with me through this. He has given me the faith and hope to know that everything will work out in the end. And he has given me the strength to move on and find a way to be happy on the outside even if I I'm hurting on the inside. I have seen my faith and knowledge grow so much this last month. I have received the knowledge that I really am the Lord's daughter and that He wants what's best for me...even if it means in the moment I'm miserable. And y'know how in the BD it says that once we truly understand our relationship to the Lord, that we are His children and He is our Father, that prayer becomes natural and instinctive? Well, I'm here to tell you that that's true too. Since I had that confirmation to me my prayers have become so much more sincere and at times when I find myself with a few extra minutes to kill, like when I'm on break from work at 3am, I find myself turning to prayer. 

The Savior has also helped my patience and tolerance of other people. This year I've been asked to face some pretty difficult people on a daily basis...especially at my work. And it's not to say that these people are bad or abrasive or anything like that, it's just in some instances they are very different from myself and that causes friction sometimes. Especially if you know me because I tend to snap really easy...and a lot of the time I don't even realize I'm doing it. For a while instead of just voicing my opinion to the individual I would turn to Dave as my sounding board. I would just rant to him which was pretty easy to do because he is so mellow and rarely gets riled up about anything whereas I get riled up all the time. But, talking to him one day he made some good points. A. getting mad only makes me feel bad, not the other person. B. chances are my getting mad isn't going to do anything to change the situation so it's kind of a waste of energy. C. getting mad is a choice, there are things that I can do to find a way to not become irritated with someone and even find a way to love them. That being said I started praying that I would find a way to love people the way the Lord does and see in them the good qualities that He sees. It has helped me so much and I know that it is because the Savior really can do amazing things with our hearts if we come to him and are sincerely willing to be changed.

So in a nutshell he has had the biggest impact on my life because he has changed  my life. He's change my heart and my prospects and for that I am eternally thankful! :)

Day 6- Favorite Superhero

Spiderman

Honestly, how could he not be your favorite?! So, the first Spiderman movie came out the summer between my 8th grade and freshman year of High School. I didn't see it right away, it actually took me quite a while but I remember watching it for the first time one night when I was babysitting at Suzanne and Nathan's after I put the kids to bed and I was glued to the TV. It was so good. Thus, my obsession was born. The second movie came out when I was 16 and it was even better than the first...and the soundtrack really was just amazing. And then....the third one happened. That movie really was kind of a joke, just not good all around. But, I remain a loyal fan! 

I think one of the reasons that I like Spiderman so much is that yeah, he is a superhero, but he is a smart superhero. He uses his brain and in a lot of instances and saves a bunch of human lives due to his knowledge. (This is the same reason that Simon is my favorite chipmunk.) Reference the first and second movies if you have any questions. It speaks to the power of learning and using what God gave you.

The other thing that I like about Spiderman is his motto "with great power comes great responsibility." He chooses to be good and serve people who can't help themselves. This is proven by the instance in which Peter Parker forsakes his superhuman identity but the eventually goes back to it because he realizes how important it is. 

Coming in at #2

 

I suppose though that in the event the Spidey were to cease existence this guy would do. This one is mainly because when I worked at Blockbuster I worked with this guy name Grant who was obsessed with the Bat. He had Batman action figures and a belt buckle and hats and jackets....he even had the Batman insignia tattooed on his arm....that is a level of devotion I have yet to experience for Spidey. But he and I used to get into Batman vs. Spidey arguments all the time. I used to contend that Batman wasn't really a superhero because he had no super powers...he was simply rich. And Grant used to say that Spiderman was just a nerd who had a run of odd luck with a genetically altered spider...it was an accident not all that super. Anyway, every I see Batman I think of Grant and all of our contentions and it makes me laugh and brings warm fuzzies to my heart. The other thing that I like about Batman is that he has a dark side but like Spiderman he chooses  to be good. 

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that other superheroes don't/didn't make that choice but for these two it appears that it is something that they have/do struggle with and I like that. I think it helps us to realize that being good is a choice that we all have to make.

Day 5- A picture of somewhere you've been.

The Sacred Grove.

Palmyra, NY

When I was about 12 Mom and Dad took us on a little family road trip. We drove from El Centro all the way to Maine and back viewing church history and other historical sites along the way. We took a lot of tours of a lot of reconstructed log cabins....let me tell you what. But one of the places that we visited was The Sacred Grove where the Lord and His son, Jesus Christ appeared to Joseph Smith and ushered in the dispensation of the fullness of times. That was a really special experience and I think it was at that time that my testimony of Joseph Smith, his work, and this gospel began to take form. As I walked through that grove of trees I could feel it in my bones for the first time that this gospel is true and that this work is real. That Christ does live and atoned for our sins, and that Joseph Smith did in fact see him that spring day in 1820. And that by following this gospel I can receive eternal salvation in the Celestial Kingdom and live with my family and God forever.

:) It really is a sacred place and you can feel the spirit as you walk through that hallowed ground. I love this picture because to me it kind of looks like the pillar of light that Joseph described when the Lord and Christ appeared.

 

 Nauvoo Temple

Nauvoo, IL

On that same trip I described before Mom and Dad took us to see the Nauvoo temple grounds. At that time the temple had not been rebuilt and so there were only the remaining footprints from the original temple that had burnt down. I was touched then by the sacrifice that the Saints had made to build it. How, Joseph Smith never got to see it finished. How the Saints waited hours to receive their endowments. And how the ultimately left it behind. However, I believe it was the October following our road trip President Hinckley announced the plans to rebuild the Nauvoo temple! We got to go back for the open house and then I was able to watch the dedication of the temple. It was such a neat experience and the spirit was definitely present. I suppose that's why the Nauvoo temple is my favorite. Some day I'm going to go back there to get married!

Day 4- A habit I wish I didn't have.

Where to begin?
There are in fact many habits that I possess that I wish that I didn't.
For as long as I can remember I have had this terrible habit of biting my nails.

This is bad for many reasons. First and foremost, seriously just think about how many germs your hands come into contact with and then think about putting that in your mouth! Yuck! But then on top of that I usually really don't know when enough is enough and I end up biting my nails down so far that it results in pain and sometimes blood. :(
The other bad habit that I'm working on breaking right now is over-thinking things.

There are so many times where I have driven myself to distraction and tied myself into knots and I think in some instances even fallen into depression because I over-think things. Because I simply can't just give place to things, trust and have faith in the Lord, believe that everything will work out for the best in the end, and then let the problem go. I was talking to a fried of mine the other day who was having the same problem and the advice that I gave him is the advice that I need to take. Just recognize that you don't have any control over it, and that things will be how they're going to be, and that eventually everything will work out in the end so just forget about it for now.
Another bad habit I have is gossiping.

A few weeks ago I read a talk by Robert S. Wood called Instruments of the Lord's Peace. Basically he talks about inviting the Lord's peace by not stereotyping, gossiping, and talking about people behind their backs. I decided that was something that I needed to change about myself. Then Friday I was talking to my friend Tyrell "T" about it and he mentioned that is part of what is considered to make a person charming...if they don't have anything negative to say about other people. It's really something that I'm working on changing.

And to close the last habit that I can think of that I hate is my impatience.

Sometimes I find myself getting frustrated when things aren't occurring in a timely manner. But I also find myself experiencing the same emotions when I don't get what I want. In either situation it isn't a very attractive quality and it's one that I'm trying to curb.

So there you go a full list of my terrible habits that I'm working on changing. 

Day3- A Picture of yourself as a child

What can I say? I'm in college and have no childhood pictures of which to speak of. The only one I could scrounge up was one that Jenna posted of the whole family on facebook. In any case... if you're having troulbe locating me I'm the midget in the white and blue dress standing smack dab in front of Grandma.

In other news, in Spanish Fork, UT there resides a Hindu Temple. Odd, right? I mean considering that it's kind of in the middle of Mormon-ville, USA. Anyway, one of the Hindu religious festivals has to do with the welcoming of Spring. It's called Holi. The story behind it is basically kind of like Shadrah, Meshach, and Abednego from the Bible. Except for the Hindu's, it was a demon that was demanding to be worshipped and it was one man not three that refuse and was subsequently thrown into a fire. Anyway, one of the ways this is celebrated is through chalk throwing. In Spanish Fork they advertise it as The Festival of Colors. Well, Provo is a college town and just a stone's throw from Spanish Fork, and well, chalk throwing is pretty much bomb-diggity and so you can bet that thousands of college kids flock to the festival every year. So much so that the temple in Spanish Fork doesn't just do one throwing they do five-ish, simply to support the sheer volume of people that flock to the festival....that and I'm sure it makes them a dang lot of money. Anyway, Holi was Saturday and myself and a bunch of my friends attended. I was not able to get any pictures for myself but here are some photos of the madness as captured by other people...

Pictures of the Throwing

People usually come out looking something like this....

Anyway, it's a ton of fun! You get chalk in every place imaginable. The chalk is gardenia scented and so you're smelling that for like a month and blowing green and purple boogers but it's totally worth it! 

Welcome to my life....or at least the best part of the winter semester here in Provizzle.

Day 2- The meaning behind your blog name

My name is Felicia Ann Bainbridge. Check the initials they're FAB. Fab as anyone who happened to live in the early '90's would know was a shortened version of the word fabulous. Now, at 22 years old I'm not too terribly enthralled with the similarity between my initials and the word fabulous, but at 16 I was. So much so that I used to write it on everything and I even incorporated it into my email address: fabulous_felicia@hotmail.com. Underneath all my insecurities I truly believed that I was fabulous and I still do. But I'm a little more confident and don't feel the need to emboss it on every piece of paper that I come into contact with. So, I suppose that the name of my blog The Oh-so Fabulous Life of Felicia is a throwback to my younger years a kind of way to tease myself if you will. Because now at 22 I realize that I am a daughter of God and I got to come here and receive a body and experience the plan of salvation and that that very fact  alone makes my life special but that other than that my life is just...life. Nothing abnormal about it one way or the other....and I'm okay with that. :D

Day 1- Recent picture and 15 interesting facts about myself

15 interesting facts about myself:

1. While I know that I'm not a dog or anything, that I'm actually quite attractive, I do feel that I'm extremely unphotogenic. I always manage to close my eyes at just the right moment so I look high or someone happens to take it from angle making me appear to have a double chin, etc. This being the case I like to make goofy faces when a picture is being taken, that way if it looks cute/funny then great! And if not I can say that it wasn't necessarily intended to look cute. This photo was taken on a Friday night at a burger place called JcW's with my friends Lisa, Dan (Chapps), Ashley, and Ashley's friend Jared and for some reason I really like it.

2. For as gunshy as I am about physical affection, my favorite thing to do in a relationship is simply cuddle. Weird I know and I wasn't really aware of it myself until Dave mentioned it a month or so ago, and it really is true. I mean I liked kissing him and all but my favorite times were when he would come up from behind me, slip his arms around my waist and just rest his chin on my shoulder.

3. For as discriminatory and judgmental as I can be sometimes I really love helping people in need. I remember reading in the scriptures Mosiah 2:17 and having that really hit me while I was in High School. And then too when it talks about the same thing 3 Nephi. We're all working towards the same thing and it's our responsibility to helps others along the way. I guess I really have found the right major (Social Work) for myself.

4. College has really changed my views, tastes, and ways of thinking...definitely for the better. I've learned to keep an open mind and try new things. I can now say that the band Muse is most assuredly one of my favs., that sushi is in fact delicious, ultimate frisbee is a great past time, nothing beats BYU football, that things aren't always as they seem, that people are just people and we have to find a way to love them for who they are, that getting upset and impatient is just a waste of energy most of the time because it likely won't change anything, that some sci-fi stuff isn't so bad like Stargate: Atlantis and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (so funny!), try your hardest at whatever you do because people will respect you for it, that Mom's cinnamon roll recipe really is one of the best out there, and that the only true way to happiness is through living gospel principles and following our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

5. My weakness in life is cookies! I really honestly do believe that a good cookie is my favorite dessert. A nice warm Paradise Bakery & Cafe chocolate chip cookie...you can't beat that. I've compiled a bunch of different chocolate chip cookie recipes and someday want to try them all out at once to see which one suits me best.

6. I'm a French Fry fiend!! I love them soo much!! Sometimes I don't even want the burger or whatever consists of the other part of the meal...just the fries.

7. I love to cook. Sometimes when I'm bored at work I get on allrecipes.com and look at recipe reviews.

8. I'm working on changing my "blank face" because apparently it's one that screams "I'm totally angry" or "I don't like you" which is hardly ever what I'm thinking. I guess when I'm not thinking about anything in particular I just look mad. I'm working on changing it to a smile or maybe a nice pensive face, who knows?

9. As I've gotten older I've learned the value of staying active. When I was a kid I was always the one glued to the TV...not so much anymore. I still have my periods when I just feel like being a bum, but as a rule I like doing things, going to the gym, or playing a game of ultimate frisbee. Playing board games with my pals, or cooking, or taking a trip the hot springs or the rope swing out in Mona, UT etc.

10. I'm not really all that crafty, but I've always wanted to be desperately. That being the case I find myself constantly undertaking projects like knitting a hat, or crocheting an afghan, or soap carving, or painting, etc....I just wish the looked better.

11. The gospel means more to me than anything else in this life....'nough said.

12. The best way to get me to do something is to tell me that I can't do it. I'm trying to crochet an afghan right now and have been asking help from this guy at work who is like a crocheting master. He told me the other day that it's maybe just a bit too advanced for me and that if I bring it in he'll start it for me. Challenge accepted. I'm now more determined than ever to complete all parts of this afghan on my own!

13. I'm realizing that maybe I'm just a little too independent. The other day some of my friends were watching How I Met Your Mother which...don't even get me started on that show. But the characters were talking and they were like "what's the other word for selfish?" "Independent?" I hadn't really realized it but being independent is kind of being a little selfish. At the very least I'm depriving someone of the same satisfaction that I get from helping people. At the worst if someone wants to spend time with me but I say "no" to their help it could sound like I don't want them around....which isn't the case I just feel bad because I feel like i'm keeping them from other things. I can also see too much independence being shockingly similar to pride. I just have to come to grips with the fact that I can't do everything on my own and sometimes it's necessary to ask for/accept help.

14. I have a very eclectic taste in music. I like everything from Nirvana to Maroon 5 to Death Cab for Cutie to Rihanna to Kenny Chesney to Eminem to Jimmy Eat World to Mumford and Sons to Keith Urban to Mandy Moore to Sarah Barielles to Nelly to Flo Ridda to Eric Church to Sherwood to Augustana to The Black Eyed Peas to Bob Marley to The Beatles to The Temptations to Stevie Wonder to Van Morrison etc.

15. I'm dadgum terrible at sports! My lack of coordination does not help. I've always wanted to be good at sports but sadly have never succeeded. That doesn't mean I quit trying though, and oddly enough a lot of guys respect me for that...or for my willingness to go out there and make a fool of myself in front of them. haha

So, life has been kind of rocky for me this last month or so.
For those of you haven't already heard from Mom, Dave and I split in the early part of March. There were a lot of reasons, some of them had to do with me and some had to do with him. Dave and I are still working on the being friends thing afterwards and we're struggling. It's hard, but don't hate him. He really is a good guy and he really did love me and he really did help me to become a better person. It's been really hard but the Lord has been helping me through it.
I've realized a lot about myself. Like how I receive answers to my prayers. For the longest time I felt like I had never truly received an answer to prayer. Turns out I was going about it all wrong. I think the Lord has been talking to me this whole time and I just wasn't listening correctly. My whole life I've always focused in on what I was feeling after I prayed but not necessarily what the Lord was saying to my mind. Does that make sense?
Anyway, turns out it makes a big difference. The only way I can think to describe it would be to compare it to someone talking to me in English the whole time I was listening for Spanish.
I've also learned (as I posted about last) that only you can make yourself happy. You can't depend on other people to do it for you. You can't say "when they do this then I'll be happy" or "when this happens then I'll be happy". It's just irrational to think that way and if you do you'll likely spend a fair amount of your life disappointed. I think the best thing is to just decide for yourself to be happy....even if it's hard and sometimes you just have to grin and bear it.
I've also learned about the amazing amount of peace the Lord can and will give you if you turn to him with sincere faith and trust. He really is a miracle worker and can help even on the darkest days. : )
The other resolution I've made is to try and be more patient and kind with people. I've been praying that I'll be able to see in other people what the Lord sees in them and love them the way that the Lord does...even if they've hurt me or annoy me or whatever. As part of that I'm also trying hard not to talk about people behind their backs/gossip about people. It's something that I do that was brought to my attention about a month or so ago and I was pretty embarrassed because I do do it and it probably sounds really juvenile and childish and isn't very attractive.
So, now that we've covered all of the things that I've learned this past little while lets continue onto a new topic of conversation.
My roommate Lisa and my friend Ashley have blogs that I follow and they have both recently started:

30 Days of Blogging

day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
day 2- the meaning behind your blog name
day 3- a picture of you as a child
day 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t have
day 5- a picture of somewhere you've been
day 6- favorite super hero and why
day 7- a picture of someone/something that has had the biggest impact on you
day 8- short term goals for this month and why
day 9- something you're proud of in the past few days
day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad
day 11- write a bucket list of things you want to do before you die
day 12- write a poem to someone you love
day 13- your 5 favorite books and why
day 14- a picture of you and your family
day 15- put your ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play
day 16- a picture of yourself
day 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have
day 19- write about a sweet memory from your past
day 20- write a letter to someone
day 21-a picture of something that makes you happy
day 22- what makes you different from everyone else
day 23- something you crave a lot
day 24- post your favorite quote or verse of scripture and why
day 25- what I would find in your bag
day 26- list 10 things that you are thankful for
day 27- my day job verses my passion
day 28- cruise a thesaurus and pick out 10 words you like the sound of
day 29 - favorite TV shows and why you like them
day 30 - movies you can watch again and again


I'll keep you posted. : )

So it's been a while since my last post.
Lots of things have been going on and I just haven't had the time/motivation to keep up.
But the other day I really had this change in perspective.
Only you can make yourself happy.
I know, you're probably thinking "Duh! We've all known that for a really long time." and trust me, I have too. But I was having  a really rough day last week and for some reason that idea really resonated with me. I can sit there for all I want and say "So and so did this and it made me unhappy" but that's not the truth. Yes, I can feel sad or have my feelings hurt by the actions of another person, but they can't make me unhappy....that's a choice that I make for myself. Yes, there may be times when I'm feeling pretty low after someone has done something thoughtless or inconsiderate but I can choose to dwell on that and be unhappy or I can choose to forget about it (because I can't change it), put a smile on my face, laugh, and just try my best to be happy.
Again, I've known this conceptually for a really long time, as we all have. But for some reason this past week it really has stuck with me and it's a principle that I'm trying to implement into my life.
I can't depend on other people to do things to make me happy, if I do I'm likely going to spend a fair amount of my life disappointed. Instead I have to develop myself. Do things for myself that will make me a better person and help me to grow. That combined with the gospel of Jesus Christ is the only way to be happy. So that's something that I need to work on. As long as I'm making sure that I'm doing what I'm supposed to and doing things that I enjoy and make me feel good about myself then the Lord will bless me.
I'm not suggesting that we should only consider ourselves. The scriptures say that we need to consider and serve our fellow man. But at the end of the day only you  are responsible for what kind of day you've had and whether or not you're happy.

For as long as I can remember growing up in the church I've hear people say that you should never pray for two things: patience and humility. They say this because most often when people pray for these things they don't like the experiences they have to go through to develop those traits. For example, my friend Allen prayed for humility while on his mission and in one week on five separate occasions he had a bird poop on his head. haha Pretty humorous but also a pretty good illustration.
The problem is that I have always struggled with having patience and humility...I mean really, let's just face facts.
That being said I've always wondered how to develop those two qualities that I know I've so grossly lacked. This last week though, it kind of occurred to me that maybe a lot of prayer is really knowing how to talk to the Lord. Knowing what to ask for and how to ask for it, and also knowing how to discern an answer.
For example, this last year I have been confronted with some people that are very different than myself. We have very different interests and opinions. I've known that this would be a problem because of my natural impatience for people I view to be ignorant or close-minded. I began praying for patience, and I really didn't feel like I got any results from it. But, at some point along the way I stopped praying for patience and started praying that the Lord would really help me love people, love them the way he loves them, think they have the best intentions instead of the worst, and see in them the valuable qualities that he sees in them. That I think more than anything has helped me more than anything to develop patience and humility.